What Up? Long Time, No See

5:29 PM / Posted by Chimera / comments (1)

I'll try harder on keeping this updated more often. I don't know why I let it go so long without posting. Well a LOT has happened since my last post. In my life and in others. But the good news is, that I'm really happy with life right now. I've got this great girlfriend who's not a psychotic, controlling, cheating slut (no names haha). I also landed a new job that plays more and gives me some good benefits. Just really good stuff to report from my end.


So I decided, since this is almost like a new beginning, I'd start it with some random ranting. That's always fun :)

1. Why is it that, with fighting games, as soon as a character gets announced as overpowered or cheap, people flock to them? Metaknight was announced as OP (overpowered for the gaming noobs lol) and people start playing the SHIT out of Metaknight. It was ridiculous how many of them there were. Oh is Sagat unfair? I think I'll start playing as him. Is that a pretty good example of the logic that goes through someone's head? Well.....STOP it. It's annoying as shit. Nothing is more annoying than a tier whore (Someone who continuously flocks to the best characters in the game. I'm looking out for you gamer noobs d:). Play with characters that genuinely interest you, regardless of the tier they are in. Super Smash Bros. Melee? My favorite character was nerfed (weakened), to the point to where he was considered one of the worst characters in the game. Did I stop playing as him? Hells no. Basically this is what I'm saying.....STOP BEING AN ANNOYING PANSY. I have no problem with people playing as a high tier character if it was genuinely an interesting character to them (and you CAN tell. People that picked the character because they heard he was overpowered or cheap always SPAM the HELL out of the moves that are considered OP/cheap, while others don't.), but don't just pick them because you wanna get some cheap wins.

2. Why are there some really psycho people? Some crazy woman called me screaming at me, and as soon as I tried to speak goes NOOOOOOOO!!!!.....I hung up.

3. When did everyone become a Saints fan? I mean, I like their story, I admit. They're undefeated. So yeah, I'll root for them because I kinda want them to finally get a Superbowl. And I'm interested in the riot that will ensue in Louisiana. However, I'm positive that half the people cheering for them weren't fans last year. Oh well I guess, gives the state some pride...

4. WTF WOULD YOU WAIT IN LINE 8 HOURS IN ADVANCE FOR TWILIGHT FOR IF YOU ALREADY HAVE A DAMN TICKET!? GO THE FUCK HOME AND COME BACK CLOSER TO THE DAMN MOVIE TIME. That is all.

5. Can anyone else imagine the commercials we're gonna see in late 2011/early 2012? THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END! GET A CAR BEFORE IT DOES!!!!

Ok, Mike just showed up at my house. Blog end.

Oh snap

11:07 PM / Posted by Chimera / comments (3)

Alright I've been gone for a while but I'm about to hit you with the knowledge.........



You + friend x friend getting a girlfriend that is the equivalent of the Loch Ness Monster's asshole =motherfuckin cataclysmic disaster zone.

Yes that's right. Don't question it, don't ponder it. Think of it as the theory of relativity....You are simply unable to think of anything to dispute it. She won't like you. You won't like her. Y'all will fight. You and your friend? THUNDERDOME!! Here's what's gonna happen on a normal day.

You: Invite friend somewhere
Friend: Agrees to plan
You: Think plan is going to happen, because logically....that makes fucking sense.
Friend: decides he's not going to make said plan long before he's supposed to actually go along with plan.
You: Clueless to the doucheness of said friend
Friend: Illogically declines to communicate with you because he is enchanted by stupidity in a button up shirt and belt (Yeah...that's it)
You: Are left wondering wtf mate? Cause your friend is a fucking moron.

I could go on but do I really have to? The best part is the friend will not have a clue why you are offended by the behavior, and the girlfriend is apathetic to the problems because she's enchanted by attention.

Also on a random note, I will now be known as an awesomologist, and I majored in awesomology. Are those words? Yes, I made them and they are real because of it. There is no getting around the fact.

Oh and PS....


White People Love Wayne

1:12 PM / Posted by Chimera / comments (3)

If you're not already offended by the title, then please continue reading.


I discovered something in the past weekend. I decided to go to a get together at a friend's place Friday night, nothing huge, and made observations about the future of humanity. When I arrived at the house they were playing music off my friend's computer. It was a rock song, can't remember it at the moment. It didn't take long for a few more people to show up......This is when the two major observations came about.


White people need two things in life......Beer Pong and Lil Wayne.

I swear, as soon as these people realized that you could control the music on the computer, a flurry of Lil Wayne began to play. Songs being played multiple times over, annoying the hell out of me, and white people rapping along like I was at a Lil Wayne concert. All the while, everyone is playing the game that just seems to never get old or raise questions about the obvious sanitation red flags that occur during play, beer pong. Now beer pong is as important to these people as the fear of eternal damnation in Hell is to Evangelists. As I sit there trying to think of a way to play better music, there is literally an epic confrontation about the beer pong game going on. I don't know who it was that decided to combine competitiveness and drinking games together, but it was the worst idea ever. The point of drinking games is to get drunk while having a good time. When you make getting drunk a sport, only bad things can happen. Now you don't have sore losers, but you have intoxicated, stupid, and violent sore losers. The players are now screaming across the table about how the rules are being broken and blah blah (Which is another bad idea, why would you complicate things more with multiple rule sets of this game?), and right before I think they're going to fight......someone got vocal about Lil Wayne. Now there are three black people at this party. Myself, Joe, and Spencer........Ok Spencer's white but if you've ever drank his Kool-aid you'd know he's really black inside. And Joe's girlfriend or whatever is black, but honestly I think she stole Spencer's blackness. All three of us are pretty sick of hearing Lil Wayne, but it was Joe who spoke up first. I don't know if he was even intending to say it to everyone, but he said it loud enough for everyone to hear. Something along the lines of: Lil Wayne is good and all, but he's nowhere near the level of Jay Z, Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco. I think Joe was specifically mentioning Jay Z, but I remember the other artist being mentioned as well.

It was only a moment, but the room filled with a silent tension....Then it began

White guy #1 went ballistic. "FUCK THAT!!! Lil Wayne is the best rapper, no one can touch him! Jay Z might have been better when Lil Wayne was like eleven but now? No way" The worst part is White Guy #2 joined in too. Spouting off random lines about how awesome Wayne is and, I think, even quoting various lines from Lil Wayne. When asked, the white guy in question had no idea who Lupe Fiasco was. I'm now offended. Don't tell me that Lil Wayne is the best rapper alive if you haven't even heard of Lupe Fiasco. You can't even make judgements about rappers. Well white guys # 1 and 2 are now pissed and an all out argument breaks out about the best rapper alive (Which by the way according to Lil Wayne himself, Jay Z is.....So by his own admission, it's not Wayne), where anger is flaring up. But then White guy # 3, who just walks in during the argument,goes to computer to change the song and plays.......Lil Wayne. I can't take it anymore and I take the case off my phone and hook it up to the speakers and BLAST Cool Kids all over that house. I hide my phone behind the computer. Then White guy #2 gets all hulked out and screams "Play some G shit!". I laugh hysterically at this guy actually saying play some g shit and then laugh even more when he goes over to the computer and screams "The song won't change!!!"

Haha. Fun times :)

Twice?

6:12 PM / Posted by Chimera / comments (1)

1. Here's a question for females, that's been asked for generations.....What the hell is wrong with you? Seriously. I hear a lot of horror stories about how bad guys are so I started to really listen to these stories and instead of being sympathetic, decided to question the girls. This one's gonna come back on me I'm sure, but the most prominent story in my head right now is the girl who just can't find a guy that finds her worth marrying, and I assume vice versa We're going to call her Lindsay for this......So the newest guy in Lindsay's life has a girlfriend already, doesn't seem to be wanting to break up with said girlfriend, and only communicates with Lindsay via Myspace. You're probably wondering why. Well chances are, considering texts are out of the question and he blocks the number on the few occasions that he does call, that either A) His girlfriend looks at his phone all the time, eliminating the possibility of texting or calling Lindsay while he is with her or B) He doesn't have a phone, and uses his girlfriend's because he is a loser and can't get a phone. I'm going to say that option A is out of the question because he could easily delete text messages or phone calls that were sent/made when his girlfriend wasn't around. So the answer is B. That leaves me with the following question Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? You want a guy that finds you worth marrying but you go for this clown? Girls need to quickly realize their own self-worth, and maybe then could stop being fucked over.


2. Now that I've said that first one I'd like to establish, that guys will fall headfirst into relationships with girls that will screw them over too, and uh....That's bad too.....but not as bad as the girls.

3. So I was at work yesterday and one of the guys was trying to tell us something, and he looks at me and goes "Well I don't know if you would appreciate this, but....." He then goes on to tell us about his great grandfather making cannons for the Confederacy during the Civil War....Now realizing why he said that I might not appreciate it, it brought back memories of all those work videos I had to watch on how to catch offensive behavior. I couldn't help but laugh at how similar it was to video with the guy saying "You people sure get a lot of holidays" I really didn't care, but I was just like, well damn thanks. I should have been like "Well your great grandfather's cannons sucked, and that's probably a major reason for the North winnning.....bitch." Missed opportunity.

So I REALLLY don't want to post this, but I'm going to.

11:11 AM / Posted by Chimera / comments (2)

Work in progress to the maximum....So don't expect this ever to be done, but maybe more excerpts. I'm not good with fiction writing, or general story writing to be honest so productive criticism is coo. Blah don't want to but here it goes.



He wanted his feet to move, but something halted him. He stood and watched as the transformation began, as the walls shook, as the windows shattered, as the very ground beneath him cratered. His mind was frantically racing back and forth between trying to find what could possibly keep him grounded to watch as an underestimation became something unpredicted, and complete awe at was happening before him. A white light surrounded his target, brilliant and destructive, so quiet that each new crack in the wall behind it resonated like thunder. This is bad. This is bad, he thought. A pew split asunder. Now he knew. Fear. He questioned how could he falter on such a trivial emotion. He was in control. He would remain in control, and he wouldn’t watch a moment longer. He rushed forward, mocking his hesitation. He smiled at the thought of ending this now.


A loud, powerful noise reverberated off the walls, everything in the church was blasted in all directions. He opened his eyes to splintered wood, and his own blood. It was over. He knew he had heard it. He questioned the possibility of it, but it was distinct. A roar. He pushed his way out of the altar, stood up to see what had occurred, and couldn’t believe his eyes. What stood before was not a man, and no beast he had ever laid eyes on. It’s legs were massive, black, scaly. Claws scraped the ground, sparking as they touched. Golden fur covered the rest of the body. He had never seen hands like the ones he saw ahead of him, large, separated, reptilian, yet paw-like. Monstrous. He looked to see the face, noticed that a mane covered the head. The head of a lion. Its eyes were closed, and facing the ground as if praying for forgiveness. Fear had left him, replaced by a visceral terror. The beast looked up and opened his eyes. With all the changes, the monstrosity that now stood before him retained the one thing that he hated about that man.


Those cocky brown eyes


I feel gay watching Grey's Anatomy by myself.

4:59 PM / Posted by Chimera / comments (1)

There's a couple of things I want to say today, and one of those things is that I am a MAN. And while I'm not the only MAN who likes the show Grey's Anatomy, I can't help but feel a little gay when I watch it by myself now. Now that I'm single I'm just like.... shouldn't there be a girl somewhere nearby to emphasize the differences between a MAN and WOMAN(I only capped it to avoid being called sexist)? Should I flex while watching this? I haven't quite figured out what to do about it but an answer needs to be found before Thursday. I refuse to get excited cause that makes it worse, but there's a new episode that I'm pretty sure someone's gonna die in.


Hokay secondly, and let's be clear, I want to have a bar fight. Why? Because it's AWESOME. I don't care what weekend story you could think of, bar fight wins. What'd you do last weekend? Go ahead and tell me how you rode in a helicopter with several world leaders in an attempt to finally achieve world peace......Cause I got in a bar fight. BET that everyone in the room has already forgotten about your stupid hippie story, and is now offering their undivided attention to my story of drunken rage and violence on the magnitude of the Battle of Thermopylae. Seriously, I wouldn't even avoid it. Drunk guy could come up and falsely accuse me of stealing his kidney, and I'd just be like......"Yeah I took it....and it's paying for my drinks tonight". And it's on. It'd be incredible.

11:21 AM / Posted by Chimera / comments (2)

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